I've Got A Whole Bag Of SHHHHH With Your Name On It by Boardnapper

Format: Commander

Commander: Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker

Bracket: 4

DeckCheck Threat Index: 49

Deck overview

This mono-black Aristocrats deck is commanded by Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker, an engine commander that returns creatures with power 1 or less to the battlefield at the beginning of each end step. The deck capitalizes on this ability by deploying sacrifice outlets alongside 1-power creatures that trigger on entering or dying. Once Shirei resolves, the deck sacrifices these creatures on every player's turn, triggering Shirei four times per table rotation. Discard creatures like Burglar Rat and Virus Beetle rapidly empty opposing hands, while draw creatures like Dusk Legion Zealot provide continuous card advantage. Opponents are locked in top-deck mode while life-draining aristocrats such as Blood Artist, Serrated Scorpion, Marionette Apprentice, and Syr Konrad, the Grim burn through their life totals. High functional redundancy across sacrifice outlets and low-power creatures ensures consistent execution.

Decklist (100 cards)

  • 1 Agent Venom
  • 1 Agent of the Iron Throne
  • 1 Ancient Tomb
  • 1 Arcane Signet
  • 1 Arnyn, Deathbloom Botanist
  • 1 Ashnod's Altar
  • 1 Ayara, First of Locthwain
  • 1 Bastion of Remembrance
  • 1 Big Game Hunter
  • 1 Blood Artist
  • 1 Blood Pet
  • 1 Bloodthrone Vampire
  • 1 Bojuka Bog
  • 1 Bone Shredder
  • 1 Burglar Rat
  • 1 Carrion Feeder
  • 1 Chthonian Nightmare
  • 1 Clattering Augur
  • 1 Dark Privilege
  • 1 Dark Ritual
  • 1 Defile
  • 1 Desecrated Tomb
  • 1 Diabolic Intent
  • 1 Dream Beavers
  • 1 Drivnod, Carnage Dominus
  • 1 Dusk Legion Zealot
  • 1 Elderfang Disciple
  • 1 Elvish Doomsayer
  • 1 Fatal Push
  • 1 Feed the Swarm
  • 1 Gray Merchant of Asphodel
  • 1 Greedy Freebooter
  • 1 Grim Haruspex
  • 1 Hecteyes
  • 1 High Market
  • 1 Lightning Greaves
  • 1 Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire
  • 1 Marionette Apprentice
  • 1 Mausoleum Secrets
  • 1 Midnight Reaper
  • 1 Mithril Coat
  • 1 Morbid Opportunist
  • 1 My Precious // Allure of Power
  • 1 Myriad Landscape
  • 1 Nezumi Informant
  • 1 Pawn of Ulamog
  • 1 Phyrexian Tower
  • 1 Pitiless Plunderer
  • 1 Plague of Vermin
  • 1 Reassembling Skeleton
  • 1 Serrated Scorpion
  • 1 Shambling Ghast
  • 1 Shirei, Shizo's Caretaker
  • 1 Skullclamp
  • 1 Smothering Abomination
  • 1 Snarling Gorehound
  • 1 Sol Ring
  • 1 Spawning Pit
  • 1 Spymaster's Vault
  • 26 Swamp
  • 1 Swiftfoot Boots
  • 1 Syr Konrad, the Grim
  • 1 Thought Vessel
  • 1 Toxic Deluge
  • 1 Umbral Collar Zealot
  • 1 Virus Beetle
  • 1 Viscera Seer
  • 1 Vraan, Executioner Thane
  • 1 Warren Soultrader
  • 1 Waste Not
  • 1 Wayfarer's Bauble
  • 1 Withering Torment
  • 1 Woe Strider
  • 1 Yawgmoth, Thran Physician
  • 1 Zulaport Cutthroat